Who Am I…My Journey…My Why

Wife. Mom. Aunt. Daughter. Niece. Friend. The titles could go on, but I must admit that these are the titles that I hold near and dear to my heart. I have always had a bit of entrepreneurial spirit, but I think the seeds were planted early on. Here is a quick peek into my WHY for creating Dove’s Inner B.E.A.U.T.Y.

The word, “Beauty” has been a word that has resonated with me throughout my years. In high school, I struggled with being called “sexy” instead of “beautiful,” and felt hurt when a boy I was dating didn’t call me “beautiful.” In college, a friend of mine and I created a modeling troupe, and called it “Visions of B.E.A.U.T.Y.” I honestly don’t remember what it means today, but it was all about empowerment. And today, I have created my own business with B.E.A.U.T.Y. as the foundation. The definition has changed drastically for me over the years. Now, I am definitely more focused on the “Inner beauty” of everything, instead of the outer beauty. I have learned to redefine “beauty” in more ways than one. Dove’s Inner B.E.A.U.T.Y., LLC is about Building Emotional Awareness, Understanding Trauma in You! This is how I have constructed beauty in my terms. Here is part of the story of how…

Sometimes I feel like my journey isn’t worth talking about, but then I remember that talking about my journey not only helps me but it helps others. Shame and guilt have been paramount in my journey and that is why I never wished to tell anyone about it. Recovering from trauma isn’t a race, it is a marathon. I’m still on this journey of trauma recovery, and I hope that I can help you along your journey.

Somewhere in my middle school years, I was sexually abused by an elderly man who was already dying from throat cancer. His death ultimately ended the abuse. While sexual abuse impacts everyone differently, I was more inclined to sexual promiscuity instead of away from it. I carried this trauma around with me unhealed through high school, college, and ultimately most of my young adult life.

I was continuously making decisions that were grounded in trauma. I gained educational knowledge in psychology through degrees over time, believing that I could heal myself. However, it wasn’t until I took the Trauma Recovery Certification course that I truly began to RECOVER/ truly began to heal. I learned not only about how my emotional responses were based on shame but how I reacted and related to others was emotionally dysfunctional. I recognized that my sexual trauma wasn’t the only trauma that I dealt with either. It wasn’t even my anchor trauma.

I say all of that to say that my life experience in trauma (plus training from the International Association of Trauma Recovery Coaches) and being trained in life design catalyst coaching by the Dream Dean himself, affords me the opportunity to provide coaching work through a trauma-informed lens, and the regular Life Design Catalyst lens.

Some of you may be asking…what about Mental Health First Aid. Why teach Mental Health First Aid. One of the teaching lessons of Mental Health First Aid is to help erase the stigma attached to mental health as a whole. Have you ever noticed that when you talk to someone, and you say, “I heard that they were in therapy,” the person that you are talking to says something like, “I didn’t know they had trouble, or needed help.” Due to all of the stigma that surrounds mental health, someone can’t even be in therapy just to maintain good mental health, but they have to be suffering from something. Mental Health First Aid teaches us that mental health is on a spectrum, just like physical health. Mental Health First Aid encourages us to think of our mental health in the same normality as our physical health. And I could not agree more. I believe that everyone/anyone can benefit from this certification. If we were more willing to discuss our emotions with one another openly and honestly, then who knows what kind of wonderful world we could live in with one another.

For those of you that were reading to find out about my education behind it all…this paragraph is for you. I gained a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology and a Bachelor of Arts degree in Sociology from NC Wesleyan College (now NC Wesleyan University) in Rocky Mount, NC. From there I went on to work as a Mental Health Tech for 7 years, and during that time gaining my Masters of Science in Psychology with a specialization in Counseling Psychology from Capella University. I also earned a Certificate in Child & Adolescent Psychology from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. While working on my Masters program and other certificates I continued to work in the field of mental health, just in various positions. I have been a Mental Health Technician, a Team Leader, a Patient Advocate, a group facilitator for DBT (while working on my Practicum for my Masters program), a Treatment Team Facilitator, a Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor, an Accessibility Coordinator, and a Senior Director for Student Belonging & Well-Being. While all of these roles sound very different, and they were, they all helped me learn different facets of mental health. In this time, I ended up being Certified as an Instructor in Mental Health First Aid, and becoming Certified as a Trauma Recovery Coach, and a Catalyst Champion (life-design coach), and a Certified Instructor for QPR Gatekeeper Suicide Prevention Training. While I thought I wanted to be a therapist, I quickly realized that I didn’t want to diagnosis people. I didn’t want to sit in judgement of people in their mental health journey. I recognized that I didn’t need a license to apply my skills and talents in service to others.