Juggling Life
It has been months since I was last able and willing to write a blog post. There was a moment back in August where I started to write one; however, I didn’t get a chance to finish it. You ask, well why? I’ve been juggling life. In July I was promoted at my 9 to 5 job to a Senior Director position. July was also my husband and my birthday month (10 days apart). August was the start of my son in 1st grade, and trying to learn all the new duties in my new role. Of course, in the midst of this I was still working on the business, just not able to produce as much as I desired to produce. As a black woman there always seems to be many “balls” in the air that need to be handled at any given moment in time. Unfortunately, even the most skilled jugglers can only juggle approximately 7 balls at once.
So let’s see: Ball 1: Mom; Ball 2: Wife; Ball 3: Senior Director; Ball 4: CEO/Entrepreneur; Ball 5: Daughter; Ball 6: Aunt; Ball 7: Friend. Well Damn! I was just starting to get on a role with all of the roles that I have been juggling lately, and can’t handle anymore balls. Here is the real problem, on the inside, because of past trauma, I juggle some balls internally. I bet you do too.
Let’s see: Ball 1: Self-Doubt; Ball 2: Imposter Syndrome; Ball 3: Generational Trauma; Balls 4 -6: Trauma Reactions from being triggered (this should count for at least 3 balls (sexual; sickness; racial); Ball 7: Self-Control. This is where people don’t really see or understand why they are so tired (physically and emotionally). When the expert jugglers can’t handle more than 7, but in reality we are managing at minimum 14 or more on any given day, of course we will be tired. Some balls get dropped. Not saying that they can’t get picked back up and sometimes even replaced with new balls. Juggling is hard work. The mental capacity it takes to manage your physical, mental, and spiritual health is A LOT! This is why I talk about Self-Care so often.
This juggling analogy works well because you can actually see someone trying to juggle multiple balls at once and the concentration that it takes to keep them all in the air. You can see when someone drops and/or misses a ball and then how the others in sequence start to fall as well. Life becomes a ripple effect in this way. When I drop the ball of wife because I haven’t given my husband adequate attention, then one of my trauma reaction balls also beings to fumble, and I start to think about how he could leave me or cheat on me. Then the ball of self-doubt in my abilities to be a wife kick in, and then those thoughts start to trickle into the workplace. Am I slacking as a supervisor? Too harsh or too sweet? Are they taking advantage of my kindness? You see where I am going here?
Support systems, knowledge of activities and places that help you to “re-charge,” and taking time to yourself to just breathe are some of the ways that I suggest that can help you “juggle” all the things. While often times those support systems can be “balls” that you juggle, they can also be support to help you juggle too. Maybe they even take on a ball or two sometimes. This is why evaluating your support people is important. Are those relationships one-sided? Do they give you more balls to juggle instead of taking some balls away? What impact do they have on your life?
There is no doubt that you will have many balls that you juggle on a regular basis. Have you stopped to evaluate what those balls are in your life? How many their are on any given day? Are there balls that you are holding on to that don’t serve you anymore? Evaluate your life. Are you juggling too much at one time? Do you need help figuring out what to let fall and what to keep juggling? A trauma recovery coach can help. Ask me how!
