Welcome To 2023
With it being the 3rd week of January, I feel like this year is off to a great start professionally. Oftentimes we want or even expect our lives to go perfect in all aspects. The reality is that it doesn’t matter how much money you have or how many friends you have, everything is not going to be perfect. The real question is who defines perfection? Where did your ideas of perfection originate? Do you end up with shame when you don’t live up to that standard of perfection that you didn’t even define for your life? What I have come to realize is that I have to define what is ideal for me, not what is perfect for me. If I can be transparent, currently, my professional life is really coming together, but my personal life isn’t quite where I want it to be, as it is not in the ideal state that I have defined for myself. I am going to try not to say perfect anymore, as I don’t want to set the perimeters for what perfect should mean for me or my family, and I’m definitely no longer subscribing to what perfect meant when growing up. There is so much unlearning that has occurred for me in this process of trauma recovery. As I continue to grow and connect into my authentic self I embrace my emotions in any space. I read now more than I have ever read and I have a full Masters degree in Counseling Psychology. I have already read 3 books and currently working on 3 more. And I love it. I was never an avid reader, but when it comes to topics I enjoy, I will read and read and read. As I grow those topics change. It’s interesting because I do remember a time when I liked to read and went to the library frequently. I guess I never realized how much trauma impacted my life, and stopped me from doing the things that I actually do enjoy. Trauma impacts us physically and emotionally. I’ll talk more about this is a future blog though.
Whenever a New Year comes in there are many people the jump into resolutions and start searching for ways to create a “new year, new me” lifestyle. Then by February those resolutions are forgotten or shame comes into play because they haven’t keep up with what they said that they would do for the year. I haven’t made one resolution this year. Here is what I did do. I have started a 7 day challenge* for myself. Every week I choose what goals that I will set for the next 7 days. Instead of whether or not I accomplished them, I reflect on whether or not I did the goal, or was there a learning experience for me in not accomplishing the goal. This has been the most beautiful process that is teaching me so much about myself day by day. Even in this process though, accountability is key. If you don’t have someone to be your accountability partner from week to week the process is harder to complete. I am telling you all about my process, because I hope someone asks me in 3 months or so, if I still write down 7 goals a week. Another way to be held accountable. So how will you start to focus in on what you really want to accomplish in this life? Will you allow your past trauma stop you from doing the things that you love doing, or will you find a way to free your brain and body from being stuck in old habits? The choice is yours. I would love to help. Ask me how.
*The 7-day challenge comes from the Life Design Catalyst Training by the Dream Dean, Mr. Bill Johnson. You can find more information about designing your life and his program at www.thedreamdean.com. I am also a Life Design Catalyst Coach if your interested in how to better design your life.
