If you haven’t heard me say this already, mental health is on a spectrum of health. Some days our mental health is better than others. Some of us are impacted by seasonal depression, such as when the weather changes so does our mood. Some of us have certain times of the year that bring up more emotional baggage than other months. The key is to recognize when your mental health is at a low point and DO SOMETHING about it. Whether that is practicing self-care or making an appointment with your trauma recovery coach or therapist. Maybe it means using the tools that you have developed in your toolbox already to manage your mental health. As I continue on my own Trauma Recovery journey I notice my feelings and emotions more and more. Well, this February, I have definitely noticed an impact on my mental health, and we are only half way through the month. To be the shortest month in the year, it absolutely has THE MOST stuff going on that can have an impact an individual. As a Black woman that also happens to be Episcopalian (my religious denomination), and married with a 6 year old, this month has thrown my mental health down the toilet (for lack of a better phrase). Not to mention that my mother celebrates her birthday on Valentine’s day too! So why does all of these identities matter or have the impact that they have one me? Well, I will try to give you the short version. Of course, it is Black History Month, and while most of us attempt to use this month to cultivate “black joy,” and “black creativity,” and overall positivity with all things related to Black culture, there is always the component of Black Trauma that arises in this month. Racial trauma is real. I can’t even drive by a large open field in the country without thinking if a slave ran through there trying to get free. Passing by cotton fields is the worse. And it isn’t something that I can turn off. It happens every time. Then, as an Episcopalian, this is the season where we turn to Lent, so there are many things to prepare for such as an annual Pancake Supper, and Ash Wednesday. These are times of great reflection, but always make me think about the burdens of Jesus. Then, there is Valentine’s Day. As I mentioned earlier, is also my mother’s birthday. It also happens to be my dating anniversary but I never get to really celebrate that either. Today was the day that it all began to show outwardly to others that I wasn’t my best self. I am thankful to a co-worker that was willing to notice it, point it out, and remind me to take care of myself. I am thankful to a friend that I call my sister that affirms my presence in her life as impactful and that I can call on for anything and everything. I am thankful for a husband that is patient with me during this month and knows that I love him regardless of whether or not we do anything together on Valentine’s day or not. It is knowing these things that help my mental health. Connection really DOES help our mental health. They call trauma “The Great Disconnector” because it separates us from those that we care because of shame and our inner critic. My inner critic was blasting off at 100 miles per hour last night and even when I woke up this morning. It is not easy to manage the inner critic but it is possible. For me, today I used connection to others to get me back on track. That won’t always work, but today it did. All of that to say, build your toolbox for the days, weeks, or months that may seem short but have a heavy impact on your life. While the intent of February is beautiful for many reasons, the reality for me is that the impact is very different. Remember this when we think of other things we do or say in our lives. We may have wonderful intentions, but consider the impact that it truly has on yourself and others. So now that I am aware that February really isn’t a great month for me due to the impact that it has on my mental health, I can plan better for how to handle it all next year when it comes around. And I have blog to hold me accountable to make a change. Do you have an accountability partner for improving your mental health. Ask me about Trauma Recovery Coaching. I can help!